Family Poems Spilled Soda

In an Email from John R. with picture:

It’s plain to see a drink was spilled, took the surface right off the deck!

washing down today I thought OH MY HECK

Someone has spilled this sh-t  And not rinsed it off,  Just a bucket of pool water Would take this sh-t off  

 Keeping the yard looking great Will require all to participate 

So when a soda spill occurs, ignoring it because it’s not yours,

Exemplifies you just don’t care, Soon we’ll find this sh-t everywhere

So let’s all join forces keeping this property great, while increasing the value of your future estate.

All my love and best wishes for a neat and tidy yard,

DAD

PS. Please call me with any comments or concerns

Jen's Response:

When first I saw your message I thought dad is really ticked,

Then I realized that it rhymed and I thought holy frick,

I don’t know when it happened but I’m sorry for the s#*t,

I know it can be better if we all help a little bit, 

Your rhymes about cleaning really are so clever,

This could just be your best poem EVER

Julie/Josh, totally Josh:

Dad,

I got your message,

You’re creative that is clear

That people didn’t clean up their mess

is very sad to hear,

Living far away in Texas

Didn’t stop a little guilt

I want to protect the value

of all that you have built 

But due to my location 

there is one guarantee

There is no way in hell

That spilled soda was me!

I hope this knowledge makes me  your very favorite kid (sorry Jill) 

And to all of my siblings, please try to use a lid!

Dad:

I awakened this morning only to find

Soda and pavers were still on my mind

What flavor of soda could it have been, taking the pavers right down to their skin?

Was it Dr Pepper, Coke or Sprite 

They all sound suspicious and make me up tight 

Anxiously awaiting Jill, Johnny and Paul to weigh in, fills me with hope it won’t happen again

Johnny:

Please don’t assume we don’t care

Because we haven’t sent our share

We’ve had no WiFi or phone

In the great depths of Yellowstone

Oh John, how we wish we’d spoke,

Before the blame was placed on Coke 

For it seems quite malicious 

to blame something so delicious

Don’t let this make you leery

But we have another theory

As the look of that small stream

With boys is a familiar scene

We think someone couldn’t wait

And simply had to urinate

Now wet, smelly and in shame

They thought it best for Coke to blame

Pee pee and wee wee are gross

But please try not to be morose

The paver does have a pit

But it could have been stinky sh*t

Then Grandma later:

June 2020 is our Disney Cruise,

Soon our flights we’ll need to choose.

Do you plan to go early a day or two?

Or stay late to enjoy an ocean view?

We’ll need a decision in a very short time. 

Why's it required that everything rhyme?